I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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