You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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