I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
