My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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