And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
