His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
