so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
