i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
handjob tips. give me some.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
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