Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
