one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
