Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
