i permit you to call me
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize