I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
