I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Holy sore nipples Batman
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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