Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
