I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
