Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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