is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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