I'd wear matching sweaters with you
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize