Sacagawea was the original milf.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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