This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Randomize
