miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize