Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
