birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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