her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
BRING THE BAGELS
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
