I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
