And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Semen is not good for contacts.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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