his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
