is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
