You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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