i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
