Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I am puke
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
