guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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