cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
