Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
