I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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