i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
