im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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