thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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