OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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