is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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