Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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