ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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