I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
