dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
