So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
