Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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