I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
