No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
