The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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