me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
