So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize