So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
