White coat. Heels.
the condom got lost in my hair
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize