you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
