It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
