he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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