I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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