Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
