his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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