So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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