i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
