Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
