tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
